Nobody can deny that the goal of software development is to produce the highest quality product possible. The only way to ensure that quality is through extensive testing.
Therefore, the following testing programs will be implemented as additions to the regularly scheduled regression testing:
Aggression Testing: Punching all developers with an open bug.
Confession Testing: All developers must admit what they either cannot do or have blown off.
Digression Testing: Developers and analysts must change the subject and ramble when the topic of bugs comes up.
Repression Testing: All developers must tell everyone who they secretly want to kill.
Oppression Testing: All developers will be required to work 24 hours a day until all bugs are fixed.
Depression Testing: All developers must explain which bugs make them sad, and why.
Succession Testing: Developers must be able to name the chain of command in the event that a PM dies.
Hessian Testing: QA will be redone by German mercenaries.
Joe Pescian Testing: All functions to be tested by a hot-headed Mafioso.
Please see your PM to get your testing schedule.