- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
- You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.
- Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
- You get to work and there's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your outer office.
- Your four-year-old wakes you up with the news that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
- Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
- You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke, and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
- Your income tax refund check bounces.
- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
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