Friday, December 28, 2007

It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...

- You wake up face down on the pavement.

- You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.

- You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.

- Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.

- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

- Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

- You get to work and there's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your outer office.

- Your four-year-old wakes you up with the news that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

- Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.

- Your pet rock snaps at you.

- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

- You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke, and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.

- Your income tax refund check bounces.

- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.

- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.

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