Jokes, funny pics & videos: 2011

Monday, December 26, 2011

Cell phone forwards

A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

Cell phone jokes

A reputable citizen had left four umbrellas to be repaired. At noon he had luncheon in a restaurant, and as he was departing he absent-mindedly started to take an umbrella from a hook near his hat.

"That's mine, sir," said a woman at the next table.

He apologized and went out. When he was going home in a street car with his four repaired umbrellas, the woman he had seen in the restaurant got in. She glanced from him to his umbrellas and said:

"I see you had a good day."

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Acephalous Management

Each day my ex-co-worker and I picked a new word of the day. On the day I resigned, the word was "acephalous" which means "headless or lacking defined head" or " having no leader".

Later that day I was asked by the president why I had decided to leave the company. I explained to him that we had differing management styles and that, " i cannot bring myself to agree with your acephalous management practices."

He replied, " That's because you don't have the experience I do in these matters." . I agreed.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Unbelievable Landings

A selection of the most frightening and unbelievable landings ever caught on camera. Thanks for watching. For those who are curious, below are the list of aircraft and airports

AIRPORT and AIRCRAFT INFORMATION

-First landing
Boeing 757-200 - American Airlines
Tonconton Intl (MHTG)

-Second landing
L410
Unknown Airfield

-Third landing
747-300 or 400
Kai Tak (VHHX)

-Fourth landing
A321 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

-Fifth landing
Bae 146 - Swiss air
Zurich Intl (LSZH)

-Sixth Landing
A320 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

Genius Cow...

It happens only in India !!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

How Gullible Are We?

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
And for plenty of good reasons, since:

it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
it is a major component in acid rain
it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
accidental inhalation can kill you
it contributes to erosion
it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes,
six (6) were undecided,
and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"He feels the conclusion is obvious.

30 most funniest books

1. Cold Comfort Farm
by Stella Gibbons

2. Three Men in a Boat and Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
by Jerome K. Jerome

3. But Enough About You and If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?
by Cynthia Heimel

4. The Sylvia Chronicles
by Nicole Hollander

5. When Do They Serve the Wine?
by Liza Donnelly

6. In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories
by Jean Shepard

7. How I Got To Be Perfect
by Jean Kerr

8. The World According to Dave Barry or anything else written
by Dave Barry

9. Heartburn
by Nora Ephron

10. Without Feathers
by Woody Allen

11. The Life and Loves of a She-Devil
by Fay Weldon

12. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
by Anita Loos

13. The Complete Stories of Dorothy Parker
by Dorothy Parker

14. With Malice Towards Some
by Margaret Halsey

15. Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?
by Molly Ivins

16. The Best of Robert Benchley or anything else written
by Robert Benchley

17. How to Raise Your I.Q. By Eating Gifted Children
by Lewis Burke Frumkes

18. Social Studies and Metropolitan Life
by Fran Lebowitz

19. A Marriage Made in Heaven--or Too Tired for an Affair and
I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
by Erma Bombeck

20. City Boy
by Herman Wouk

21. The Loved One
by Evelyn Waugh

22. Catcher in the Rye
by J.D. Salinger

23. Brain Droppings
by George Carlin

24. Help! I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery! and
Whoever Owns His Own Home, Deserves It
by Alan King

25. The Hypochondriac's Guide To Life. And Death.
By Gene Weingarten

26. The Queen and I
by Sue Townshend

27. Not Waving, But Drowning and
A Good Time Was Had by All
by Stevie Smith

28. Small World
by David Lodge

29. The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
by Jane Wagner

30. Is Sex Necessary?
by James Thurber and E.B. White

Sunday, December 4, 2011

2/3- Secret Russian Aircraft of WWII

History has overlooked the unimaginable hardships Russian designers faced under the paranoid rule of Josef Stalin. Frequent purges represented a constant threat. Yet, in spite of the ever-present danger, Soviet aircraft designers mastered technical hurdles astonishing even by today's standards. This hour features extensive archive images of never-before-seen aircraft and the designers who brought them to life. The innovative aircraft profiled include a swept-wing Delta aircraft design; a rocket-powered fighter; a long distance fixed-wing aircraft with features later incorporated in the U-2 spyplane; a flying tank prototype; a submarine-bomber combination; and a canard-wing aircraft. And we highlight remarkable aircraft launched after Stalin's death in 1953, like the delta-winged supersonic Concordski and the world's largest plane, the Antonov 124 Ruslan.

What does it feel like to fly over planet Earth?

Friday, December 2, 2011

Amazing Animals in Tiger Splash at Out of Africa Wildlife Park

The catastrophic videos of Destroyed in Seconds

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Funny Cell phone Forward : Two Italians

Two Italian men talking in a bus: "Emma come firsta. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time" Hearing this, a lady sitting by shouts at them. One of the men replies: "Cool down Ma'm..I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi"