Good Advice From Kids

"Never trust a dog to watch your food." -Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer." -Hannah, age 9

Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." -Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes." -Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." -Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." -Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." -Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac." - Andrew, age 9

More videos of kolkatta UFO

mysterious object on 30th October 2007 at 3.40 AM

Present For Husband

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked. "The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"


"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Kolkata scientist punches holes in UFO theory

Media reports of a bright spherical object, streaking across the eastern sky have left many Kolkata residents intrigued, but scientists said it could be just an "optical illusion" - a result of cloud reflecting the city's lights.

"The images as shown on television channels have to be taken with a pinch of salt. They do not appear to be unidentified objects as claimed by some residents, but seem to be an optical illusion - a result of cloud reflecting city lights, a phenomenon than can be caused by refraction of light. It does not appear to be a natural phenomenon," M.P. Birla Planetarium director Debprosad Duari told IANS.

A claim by a senior executive of a private company that he had captured on video camera an unidentified object in the eastern sky early Monday had left scientists and the media in a tizzy, triggering a frenzy among people to spot the object.

Farhan Akhtar claimed to have captured the bright multi-coloured object from his 10th floor flat at Kalikapur in east Kolkata around 3.20 a.m. Monday. He said the phenomenon lasted for around three hours and disappeared when daylight appeared.

"From what I can understand, it could just be digital trickery as no natural phenomenon can last that long and change its colour and shape so rapidly," Duari said Tuesday.

The video footage of the object, as telecast on a Bengali television channel, showed the fireball changing its shape from a round object to a triangle and then turning into a straight line.

The object, spotted at a 30-degree angle from the horizon, also emitted a bright light that formed almost a halo and radiated a range of colours.

"If the person who shot the object with his handycam is to be believed, the fireball was seen moving from the east to the west. I first thought it could be a fragment of the Holmes Comet that had broken up on Oct 24, but if it is indeed a remnant of Holmes, it should have been seen in the western sky and also at 60 degrees above the horizon. But this is not the case here," Duari said.

"The object could be Venus because it is spotted in the eastern sky. But one cannot capture Venus on his handycam so close and so bright. So, if it is not Venus or a Holmes Comet, then it must be an optical illusion or just a figment of one's imagination," he said.

Duari said he would like to tally the claims made by a US citizen recently regarding sighting of an unidentified flying object with the claims made by the city-based executive.

Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics astro-particle physicist Kamalesh Kar said: "A cosmic body cannot change its appearance so rapidly. An expert needs to observe it for a longer period to comment on it. It is very difficult to draw any conclusion based on television pictures."

UFO over Calcutta/Kolkata Sky

This was taken from a cellphone camera in the evening (dusk).

UFO sighted in Kolkata sky

In the first such incident recorded in Kolkata, an unidentified flying object was spotted in the city’s skies early Monday morning.

The fireball, that moved very rapidly and even seemed to change its shape and size, was photographed by a resident of Kalikapur in east Kolkata. Scientists couldn’t identify the object though some believe it could be a meteor blazing a trail through the morning sky.

The object, as shown on a TV channel, seemed to alter its shape from a round object to a triangle and then turned into a straight line. It emitted a bright light that formed a circle - almost a halo - and also radiated a range of colours.

The strange object was spotted between 3.30 am and 6.30 am by a senior executive of a private company, who filmed it on his handycam and showed it to the MP Birla Planetarium director D P Duari.

Many others spotted the strange object streaking across the eastern sky and hundreds gathered along EM Bypass to catch a glimpse of the "UFO". Many claimed to have seen the UFO, triggering a frenzy.

The Birla Planetarium director said the flying object, seen "at 30 degrees on the eastern horizon" was "interesting and strange".

"The viewer first thought it was a plane but gradually its brightness increased and it went up and vanished around 6.30 am," Duari said. "No natural phenomenon is likely to last for such a long duration and it is not a meteor either. It is an extremely interesting and strange object," he added.

Scientists were also puzzled by the phenomenon. They claimed it was too early to hazard a guess on what the object could be.

"A cosmic body cannot change its appearance the way this one seemed to do. But an expert needs to observe it for a longer period of time to be able to comment on it. It is very strange and intriguing. Sadly, TV pictures are not enough to make a conclusion," said Kamalesh Kar, astro-particle physicist at the Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics.


source : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/UFO_puzzle_has_Kolkata_in_a_tizzy/rssarticleshow/2500882.cms

New Mercedes

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Don't Ignore the Kids

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."

"How?"

"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."

Romantic Dinner

On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favorite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.

"How romantic!" she thought.

Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it in a colossal mess.

Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker."

"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"

"More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes."

Some Clever Ads

A print of a cup of Folgers coffee was placed on top of manhole
covers in New York City, USA.
Holes on the print allow the steam to come out. Wording around the
cup reads, "Hey, City That Never Sleeps. Wake up. Folgers."

An innovative idea on a large billboard in Amsterdam, Netherlands.

It really makes people want to grab that "Heineken".

Life-size stickers of people were stuck on automatic sliding doors at a mall in Mumbai, India. When someone approaches, the doors move apart and it feels like the people on the door are moving away. The person entering finds the

message , "People move away when you have body odor".

An advertisement found in Malaysia. A sticker was placed on the high voltage box depicting that powerful Duracell batteries were used.

An ambient exercise to promote Eatalica burgers. A "Caution ? Wet Floor" board was placed near an Eatalica burger signboard. The copy on the board reads, "Oogling at the burger may involuntarily cause drooling,

which may in turn lead to a wet floor. Issued for your safety by the management

of Eatalica Restaurant". Eatalica is an American-Italian

food joint in Chennai, India.

A giant mirror was built that allowed passers-by to stop and look at themselves wearing Individual clothes at a shopping mall in Tokyo, Japan.

Advertisements for a job-recruiting company in Berlin, Germany depict people working in vending machines and ATMs.

It delivers the message, "Life is too short for the wrong job".

Stickers were placed in selected car park locations and car workshops where

M-Tech Plasma HID lights are sold in Malaysia. It delivers the message that

these headlights are 300% brighter than regular headlights.

The burn-effect sticker from the headlights

really leaves an impression.

This is an advertisement found in Vancouver during their National Non-Smoking Week. The car was placed at the Vancouver Art Gallery and the message. It reads,

"Death from car accidents: 370. Death from smoking-related

causes: 6,027. Quit now before it kills you."

In another creative idea by The Fitness Company, "dumbbells" were placed at various subways in New York City, which create an illusion that the person holding

the safety bar is doing weights

A very cost-effective advertisement in Hong Kong for a yoga school showcases

the prowess of a yoga practitioner on the flexible stems of drinking.

straws. Enquiries and enrolment went after up

this promotional stunt.

A creative ad by Mini Cooper placed at the Zurich, Switzerland train station,

shows people climbing into or out of the car, when they

are actually entering or exiting stairs.

Women Drivers

Women Drivers

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane.

It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!

Cat Tails

Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?

The retail store.

A Dog Cleaning

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job.”

“Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!”

“No, no,” pleaded the dog. “Please don't! If he finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phone as well!”

Honest Lawyer?

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Bobby. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Danny," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Bobby.

Danny replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Bobby.

"No, just the regular kind", replied Danny.

A Common Bum

A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter. "Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a common bum?"

"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.

"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again..."

Top Ten Reasons to Ask Your Boss For A Raise

10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter.

9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.

8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores.

7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.

6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham.

5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons.

4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender."

3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota.

2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock.

1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.

Terror Storm 2nd Edition Pt 1/12

Alex Jones' Terror Storm: A Chronicle of False Flag Terrorism in this century... compelling evidence that even London's 7/7 bombings were planned/allowed by the British Govt.

STROKE:Make people aware of it & may be you can become a medium to save a LIFE !

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some ?don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke... totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.


RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:


S *Ask the individual to SMILE .
T *Ask the person to TALK , to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently: It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.


{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}


If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency services immediately and describe the symptoms. This is URGENT


Make people aware of it & may be you can become a medium to save a LIFE !

Jokes

Absent-minded professor

One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."

"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off."

Washington, D. C.

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.

"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!"

"You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."

Yard Work

The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week. He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"

The fellow thought for a moment, then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."

21 things an Indian does after returning from abroad

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always

speaks of health conscious.



19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take

bath.



18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.



17. Says Hey instead of Hi

Says Yogurt instead of Curd

Says Cab instead of Taxi

Says Candy instead of Chocolate

Says Cookie instead of Biscuit

Says **Free Way** instead of Highway

Says got to go instead of Have to go

Says O instead of Zero (for 704, says

Seven Oh! Four instead of Seven Zero Four)



16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps on

complaining about it every time he steps out.



15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters),

and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)



14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as

possible (but deep down the heart multiplies by 45

times).



13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk

packet.





12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed),

repeats Zee several times, if the other person

unable to get, then says X, Y, Zee.





11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching

traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says & Oh! British Style!!!!



10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and **Indian

Road** Conditions.



9. Even after 2 months, complaints about Jet Lag.



8. Avoids eating more spicy (hot) stuff.



7. Tries to drink Diet Coke instead of **Normal** Coke.



6. Tries to complain about any thing in **India** as if

he is experiencing it for the first time.





5. Pronounces schedule as skejule and module as mojule.



4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.





3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers

of Airways by which he traveled back to **India**,

even after 4 months of arrival.





2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India,

tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.



Ultimate one



1. Tries to begin conversation with; In US ....or When

was in US...

I'll trust you that you paid

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.00.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender leans over sand says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

List Of bollywood movies which got Inspiration from hollywood

The Killer(2006) ----> Collateral (2004)


Krrish(2006) ----> Paycheck (2003)


Tathastu(2006) ----> John Q (2002)


Shaadi Se Pehle(2006) ----> Hindi Movie Meri Biwi Ki Shaadi (1979)


Rang De Basanti(2006) ----> English Drama All My Sons (1948)


Zinda(2006) ----> Korean movie Oldboy


Mr Ya Miss(2005) ----> Hot Chic (2002)


Sauda - The Deal(2005) ----> Indecent Proposal (1993)


Ek Ajnabee(2005) ----> Man On Fire (2004)


Chocolate(2005) ----> The Usual Suspects (1995)


Salaam Namaste(2005) ----> Nine Months (1995)


Main Aisa Hi Hoon(2005) ----> I Am Sam (2001)


Kyon Ki... ----> One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)


Aabra Ka Dabra (2004) ----> Harry Potter (2001)


Dhoom(2004) ----> The Fast and the Furious (2001) &Ocean's Eleven (2001)


Hum Tum(2004) ----> When Harry Met Sally... (1989)


Murder (2004) ----> Unfaithful (2002)


Taarzan (2004) ----> Christine (1983)


Qayamat(2003) ----> The Rock (1996)


Koi... Mil Gaya (2003) ----> s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982), Forrest Gump (1994)


Aapko Pehle Bhi Kahin Dekha Hai||Meet the Parents (2000)


Deewarein(2003) ----> The Shawshank Redemption (1994)



Kucch To Hai(2003) ----> I Know What you did Last Summer (1997)


Chor Machaaye Shor ----> Blue Streak (1999) & Hindi Movie Gol Maal (1979)


Awara Paagal Deewana ----> The Whole Nine Yards (2000)


Deewangee (2002) ----> Primal Fear (1996)


Kaante(2002) ----> Reservoir Dogs (1992)


Raaz(2002) ----> What Lies Beneath (2000)


Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai ----> My Best Friends Wedding (1997)


Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai ----> American Pie (1999)


Baadshah (1999) ----> Lot of movies Nick Of Time, The Mask, Rush Hour, Mr. Nice Guy

10 Facts about death..!

1. When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go -- the first is usually sight, followed by taste, smell and touch

2. A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated

3. 100 people choke to death on pens each year. One is more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a spider

4. Alexander's funeral would have cost $600 million today. A road from Egypt to Babylon was built to carry his body

5. When inventor Thomas Edison died in 1931, his friend Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle

6. Over 2500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products made for right-handed people

7. It takes longer than ever before a body to decompose due to preservatives in the food that we eat these days

8. An eternal flame lamp at the tomb of a Buddhist priest in Nara, Japan has kept burning for 1,130 years

9. Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry is the first person to have his ashes put aboard a rocket and 'buried' in space

India Australia cricket match tickets

Links to buy india australia match tickets
http://www.worldticketshop.com/cricket/one_day_international_(odi)_tickets

http://www.globalticketservice.com/eventlist.asp?event=Sports&mainevent=India%20vs%20Australia

SARDARJI CARTOONS

Logical reply

Have you ever felt like doing this?

Have you ever felt like doing this?

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Can u guess which festival is this?

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You might have said: Krishna Janmastmi (Dahi Handi).



****** Wrong *****



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" RAKSHA BHANDHAN "

Santa Singh

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.

But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word....