21 Things To Remember

* No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
* Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be
* Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
* Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.
* Success stops when you do.
* When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.
* You will never have it all together.
* Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
* The biggest lie on the planet When I get what I want I will be happy.
* The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
* I've learned that ultimately , 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
* Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
* If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
* We often fear the thing we want the most.
* He or she who laughs......lasts.
* Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
* Look for opportunities..not guarantees.
* Life is what's coming....not what was.
* Success is getting up one more time.
* Now is the most interesting time of all.
* When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT Course

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife isfinishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel andruns downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob,the next-door neighbour..
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman dropsher towel and stands naked in front of Bob, aftera few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel andgoes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husbandasks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anythingabout the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining tocredit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing hergown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly hadan accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changinggears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, rememberPsalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the fleshis weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavilyand went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushedto look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek,further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they findan antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I wantto be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, withouta care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want tobe in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with mypersonal masseuse, an endless supply of PinaColadas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in theoffice after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of mydroppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey wasproudly perched at the top of the tree..
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, whoshot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but itwon't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cowdung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lays there all warm and happy, and soonbegan to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and

promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Funny cell Phone Forwards

Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!

Girl announced her engagement to her father.
Father: Does this fellow has any money?
Girl: Oh! Dad, U men r all alike, thats exactly what he asked me about u!

Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

True relatives always stand behind u during bad times. Check ur marriage album. All ur relatives were standing behind u!

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!

U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?