Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Game of Thrones :Season 6 Trailers


After a long wait the sixth season of Game of Thrones is almost here.Lets take a quick look at few of the trailers and promo videos of this much awaited series.



Game of Thrones season 6 is said to premiere on April 24, 2016 at 9pm



Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Relationship jokes : Thats how the fight started

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then ...said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_____________________________

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

_____________________________

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back;
now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

_______________________________

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

________________________________

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

An atheist

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
...
"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

Life Explained

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God agreed.

... On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years! No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained.

Friday, January 11, 2013

The mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar.   He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.  The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor,   as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,'  He continued,
there is no room for  the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Power of Thoughts and Thoughts of Power


The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. If you have become a negative thinker, this is because you have not cared for your mind and taken the time to train it to focus on the good.

“The mind truly is like any other muscle in your body. Use it or lose it."

Look at it this way. If you want to strengthen the muscles of your arm to achieve more, you must train them. If you want to toughen up your leg muscles, you must first exert them. Similarly, your mind will do wonderful things for you if only you will let it. It will attract all that you desire into your life, once you learn how to operate it effectively. It will create ideal health if you care for it properly.

If you want to live a more peaceful, meaningful life, you must have more peaceful and meaningful thoughts.

It's like that classic story of the young boy who travelled far from his home to study under a great teacher. When he met the wise old man, his first question was, 'How long will it take me before I am as wise as you?'

"The response came swiftly, 'Five years.'

'This is a very long time,' the boy replied. 'How about if I work twice as hard?'

‘Then it will take ten,' said the master. '"Ten! That's far too long. How about if I studied all day and well into the night, every night?'

'Fifteen years,' said the sage. ‘I don't understand,' replied the boy. 'Every time I promise to devote more energy to my goal, you tell me that it will take longer. Why?'

The sage replied, 'The answer is simple. With one eye fixed on the destination, there is only one left to guide you along the journey'"

Be patient and live with the knowledge that all you are searching for is certain to come if you prepare for it and expect it.

Success on the outside indeed begins with success on the inside. Pay attention to the thoughts you think. Do your best to allow into your mind only the thoughts that bring good, happy, and positive results, and avoid negative thoughts.

That’s what Buddha believed in and preached too, “what you think, you become”. Believe it or not, the price of greatness is the responsibility owned by each of your thoughts.

Have a great week ahead…

Monday, November 19, 2012

Giant Watersprouts over Aussie waters caught on tape

According to CBS News, the rare phenomena were spotted off the New South Wales coast as extreme weather hammered down on other parts of the region. The aerial videos seen below were filmed from a helicopter by Australia's Channel 7, which claimed that they reached heights of nearly 2,000 feet.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Swimming in Devil's Pool at the top of Victoria Falls

The closest to death I've ever been - Devil's Pool at the top of Victoria Falls, Livingstone, Zambia. January 2, 2010.




The spot we're all sitting in is called Devil's Pool, hence the video name. To reach it, we first took a small boat to Livingstone island: a tiny island near the edge of Victoria Falls. We then swam across the top of the falls for about 20 minutes, stopping every few meters to swim directly up stream because the current would drag us closer to the edge as we tried to swim perpendicular. The three black men (the two sitting on either side and the third holding my camera) were the guides we hired through our hotel (the Zambezi Sun) and some of the bravest souls I've ever met. I can't remember exactly how much but I think it was $50 each, and well worth the investment. There were other locals who would take us for less, but inexperienced guides get tourists killed, which had happened the week. The guides knew exactly where to swim across the top of the falls, stop to rest, and swim up stream. One of them even carried one of the girls on his back when she had a panic attack while swimming across the falls. Most importantly, as you can see in the video, a guide sat on each side of the group to make sure we didn't wander out of the safe area (well safe-ish). There's a small underwater rock ridge which we leaned against to stop us from spilling over. That being said, fouling around will still get you killed, as I almost learned when I tried leaning over the falls to snap a self-portrait. I felt the water rush and my legs, which were planted to the floor, swing up with the current. I quickly decided I could live without a self-portrait. The third guide, the one who took the incredible footage with my camera, actually stood on the tiny rock ridge, leaning over to capture the precipitous drop and, yes, the double rainbow. Inconceivably stunning! He could have died with the smallest slip! And these guys do this every day. They were all tipped well.

TJ from Toronto, CAN



Most amazing humans in the world

Monday, December 26, 2011

Cell phone forwards

A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. 
After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

Cell phone jokes


A reputable citizen had left four umbrellas to be repaired. At noon he had luncheon in a restaurant, and as he was departing he absent-mindedly started to take an umbrella from a hook near his hat.
"That's mine, sir," said a woman at the next table.
He apologized and went out. When he was going home in a street car with his four repaired umbrellas, the woman he had seen in the restaurant got in. She glanced from him to his umbrellas and said:
"I see you had a good day."

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Acephalous Management

Each day my ex-co-worker and I picked a new word of the day. On the day I resigned, the word was "acephalous" which means "headless or lacking defined head"  or " having no leader".

Later that day I was asked by the president why I had decided to leave the company. I explained to him that we had differing management styles and that, " i cannot bring myself to agree with your acephalous management practices."

He replied, " That's because you don't have the experience I do in these matters." . I agreed.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Unbelievable Landings

A selection of the most frightening and unbelievable landings ever caught on camera. Thanks for watching. For those who are curious, below are the list of aircraft and airports





AIRPORT and AIRCRAFT INFORMATION

-First landing 
Boeing 757-200 - American Airlines 
Tonconton Intl (MHTG)

-Second landing 
L410
Unknown Airfield

-Third landing 
747-300 or 400 
Kai Tak (VHHX)

-Fourth landing 
A321 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

-Fifth landing 
Bae 146 - Swiss air
Zurich Intl (LSZH)

-Sixth Landing 
A320 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

Genius Cow...

It happens only in India !!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

How Gullible Are We?

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
And for plenty of good reasons, since:
  1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
  2. it is a major component in acid rain
  3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
  4. accidental inhalation can kill you
  5. it contributes to erosion
  6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
  7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.
  • Forty-three (43) said yes,
  • six (6) were undecided,
  • and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"He feels the conclusion is obvious.

30 most funniest books


1. Cold Comfort Farm 
by Stella Gibbons
2. Three Men in a Boat and Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow 
by Jerome K. Jerome

3. But Enough About You and If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet? 
by Cynthia Heimel

4. The Sylvia Chronicles 
by Nicole Hollander

5. When Do They Serve the Wine?
by Liza Donnelly

6. In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories 
by Jean Shepard

7. How I Got To Be Perfect 
by Jean Kerr

8. The World According to Dave Barry or anything else written
by Dave Barry

9. Heartburn 
by Nora Ephron

10. Without Feathers 
by Woody Allen

11. The Life and Loves of a She-Devil 
by Fay Weldon

12. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 
by Anita Loos

13. The Complete Stories of Dorothy Parker 
by Dorothy Parker

14. With Malice Towards Some 
by Margaret Halsey

15. Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She? 
by Molly Ivins

16. The Best of Robert Benchley or anything else written
by Robert Benchley

17. How to Raise Your I.Q. By Eating Gifted Children 
by Lewis Burke Frumkes

18. Social Studies and Metropolitan Life 
by Fran Lebowitz

19. A Marriage Made in Heaven--or Too Tired for an Affair and
I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression 
by Erma Bombeck

20. City Boy 
by Herman Wouk

21. The Loved One 
by Evelyn Waugh

22. Catcher in the Rye 
by J.D. Salinger

23. Brain Droppings 
by George Carlin

24. Help! I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery! and
Whoever Owns His Own Home, Deserves It
by Alan King

25. The Hypochondriac's Guide To Life. And Death.
By Gene Weingarten

26. The Queen and I
by Sue Townshend

27. Not Waving, But Drowning and
A Good Time Was Had by All
by Stevie Smith

28. Small World
by David Lodge

29. The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
by Jane Wagner

30. Is Sex Necessary? 
by James Thurber and E.B. White

Sunday, December 4, 2011

2/3- Secret Russian Aircraft of WWII

History has overlooked the unimaginable hardships Russian designers faced under the paranoid rule of Josef Stalin. Frequent purges represented a constant threat. Yet, in spite of the ever-present danger, Soviet aircraft designers mastered technical hurdles astonishing even by today's standards. This hour features extensive archive images of never-before-seen aircraft and the designers who brought them to life. The innovative aircraft profiled include a swept-wing Delta aircraft design; a rocket-powered fighter; a long distance fixed-wing aircraft with features later incorporated in the U-2 spyplane; a flying tank prototype; a submarine-bomber combination; and a canard-wing aircraft. And we highlight remarkable aircraft launched after Stalin's death in 1953, like the delta-winged supersonic Concordski and the world's largest plane, the Antonov 124 Ruslan.

What does it feel like to fly over planet Earth?