The Ultimate Marketing Strategy

In a recent marketing campaign in Vancouver, 3M sought a strong image for their security glass. They modified a bus shelter and fitted their security glass and filled

it with REAL BANKNOTES.

Many have tried to gain access with golf clubs and baseball bats but obviously the glass remains intact! This is what you call having faith in your own product...

Women Drivers Award

The Top 10 Contestants For The 2007 Women Drivers





Her helmet is being worn backwards






Who do you think should get the gold medal ?.. :P

Small and Tiny cars

Negotiation - Chinese Style

Demands of The Hostage-taker

"Meet my 3 demands or I'll kill the boy!"

The Negotiation


Negotiators assess the situation from next door.
Chief ne! gotiator dispatched

Negotiation begins
Negotiation concluded
Crisis Over

In the US, we would block off the street, take 12 hours to talk him out of it, spend $5 million giving him a fair trial, and pay his food and lodging for life.


No wonder China-made products are so much cheaper than ours.

New plane designed by Boeing using Gold for the Sultan of Brunei

Have a look at new plane designed by Boeing... for the sultan of brunei

A ll that shines inside the flight are made of pure gold like wash basin ,frames,etc.......

Art on Laptop

Why you shouldn't swallow chewing gum...

Plight of Travel Agents in America!! Hillarious

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Reception of Bill Gates' Office at Microsoft.

Bill Gates' Car

SPECIAL COFFIN FOR COKE LOVERS !!!

Click on the image to enlarge

Cool Ads

Great Advertisements

Dare Devil Bike

Beautiful Space Pictures

Schwarzenegger Super Cows

Vintage Gadgets

Motorola StarTac (1996)
Kodak Brownie 127 (1953)

Sony Walkman TPS-L2 (1979)
JVC HR-3300 (1976)
IBM 5150 (1981)
Western Electric 500 (1949)
RCA Model 630TS (1946)


Bell & Howell Director Series model 414 Zoomatic (1962)

Atari 2600 (1977)

Amana Radarange (1967)

TAARE ZAMEEN PAR .....if someone else had made this movie

If Karan Johar made Taare

*
Obvious starcast:
o
Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).
o
Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts).
o
Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).
o
Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad.
o
Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).
o
It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.
o
The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl.
o
It would have one dance number.
o
The film would be titled 'Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'



If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare

*
Obvious starcast:
o
Salman as the teacher.
o
Rani as the mother.
o
Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.
o
An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.
o
Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.
o
The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a f***ing difference.
o
The film would cost 60 crores.



If Farah Khan made Taare

*
Obvious starcast:
o
SRK as the teacher (yawn).
o
In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.
o
The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.
o
To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.
o
The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.



If Rakesh Roshan made Taare

*
Obvious starcast:
o
Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.
o
Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction.
o
Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know.
o
In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype.
o
Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid's prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back.
o
The film would have mus ic by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.
o
The film's name would again start with a K.. probably 'Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par'.
o
The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.




If Priyadarshan made Taare:

*
Obvious starcast:
o
Akshay Kumar as the teacher.
o
Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad.
o
It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny.
o
The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like 'iss umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes, the director would think it is funny.
o
In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.
o
And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway.







TodayS UpdatE ( www.funandfunonly.in ) :

* NDTV's - Indian of The Year Awards ( Xclusive ) new
* Salman Khan Unveil his Wax Statue ( 1st look ) new
* Tanushree Dutta is looking HoT new
* Bipasha, Katrina n Sameera in Race Movie new
* Trisha Hot Pictures new
* Ayesha Takia at Big 92.7 FM new
* Neha Duphia Hot on Ramp Walk new
* Celina Jaitley at a Press Meet ( SexY )
* IndiaTimes Swimsuit Calendar 2008
* Katrina Kaif Stunning Scans from HiBlitz Magazine
* Pooja :: Femina Miss India Universe 2007
* Sizzling Sangeeta Ghosh !!
* Sherlyn Chopra in Sexy Black
* Tabbu in Sizzling Red ( SexY )

Mike is Dead

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Whoah, what the happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him -- he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned him all up."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the heck did Mike die?"

"I shot him."

"You shot him? What the heck did you shoot him for?"

"The man was destroying my house!"

The world's longest Ferrari

This is, believe it or not, the world's first-ever Ferrari stretch limo: a 23-foot 360 Modena with eight seats and the biggest electric gullwing doors we've ever seen.
It's the handiwork of Style Limousines in Manchester, which spent more than £200,000 modifying the rear-engined 360.
All eight of the seats are carbon-fibre buckets with five-point race harnesses - which might sound excessive until you discover that the 3.6-litre V8 remains, its 395bhp propelling the mega-Ferrari to 60mph in under six seconds. Could prove a challenge not to spill your cheap champagne.

Those gull-wing doors are nine-foot long and were designed by one of the teams responsible for the Mercedes SLR McLaren.

Top 10 Concept Cars

1.Ferrari ~ Aurea Berlinetta
2.Audi~RSQ Concept 2.Audi ~ RSQ Concept
3.Bmw~M3 CSL 3.Bmw ~ M3 CSL
4.Bmw~M5 Concept 4.Bmw ~ M5 Concept
5.Chrysler~ME 4-12 Concept 5.Chrysler ~ ME 4-12 Concept

New Speed Limit Device

Ducks and Eagles : A Great motivational story of a cabbie

No one can make you serve customers well. That's because great service is a choice.

Years ago, Harvey Mackay, told a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey. He handed him a laminated card and said:

"I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement."

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:

Wally's Mission Statement:

To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment. This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf."

Harvey said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink."

Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice."

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke."

Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As they were pulling away, Wally handed him another laminated card. "These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio."

And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," Harvey asked the driver, "have you always served customers like this?"

Wally smiled into the rearview mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do.

Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself.

He said, `Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'"

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle.
I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy.
So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more."

"I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said.

"It sure has," Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action."

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. Harvey probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it.
Whenever Harvey went to their cities, he would give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told him all the reasons they couldn't do any of what he was suggesting.

Johnny the Bagger and Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. They decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles

Bike Ride

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became to much and he could go no farther.

He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop.

Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway, and tied it to his bumper. He then tied the other end to the bike and told the rider that he would drive slow.

Everything went fine for the first 30 miles.

Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other.

A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap.

The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed ahead to the another officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph.

He then relayed,

"...and you're not going to believe this, but there's a guy on a 10 speed bike yelling to pass."

Excellent Grades

When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got a 100 in school.

Her dad told her to sit down and tell him all about it.

She said, "Well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!

A New Record

A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

Gifted Artist

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

September 1752 - Interesting (Origin of Paid Leave)

Have u ever seen the calendar for September 1752???

If you are working in Unix, try this out.
At $ prompt, type: cal 9 1752

Surprised??? ?

not only in unix, u can also search it in google

See the explanation for what you see.

Isn't the output queer? A month with whole of eleven days missing. This was the time England shifted from Roman Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar, and the king of England ordered those 11 days to be wiped off the face of the month of September of 1752. (What couldn't a King do in those days?!) And yes, the workers worked for 11 days less, but got paid for the entire 30 days. And that's how "Paid Leave" was born.Hail the King!!!

Tippi The fearless girl

Tippi is a tiny blond girl who lives in Africa. She has a brother by the name of Abu who weighs five tons, and her cats are huge and much stronger than her daddy. This may sound like surrealistic fiction, but it is the true story of Tippi, daughter of two French filmmakers and wildlife photographers, working in southern Africa. Their life in the bush, dunes and swamps, and about Tippi's endearing kinship with wild animals, particularly Abu, a five-ton elephant..

Indian Contemporary Hand Paintings on Hardboard

Harvard Gringo

An American consultant was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked, "Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said, "Well, I catch enough to feed my family."

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard graduate and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, senor?"

The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Very Low Plane Landings

How does it feels like to have a Huge passenger air plane, Boeing 747 flying inches above your head?

This is an amazing video of airplanes landing into the airport just meters away from the sea in St Martin, Carribean. Please click the picture below to watch 3 videos of these amazing landings.

Jokes Weekend special

Joke 1
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

Joke 2
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."

Joke 3
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Joke 4
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly.
After the coroner leaves with Steve’s body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve’s wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack of beer under his arms.
"Say, Bob, where did you get the six-pack?"
"Steve’s wife gave it to me!"
"What! You just told her that Steve died and she gave you a six-pack?"
"Well, before I broke the news to her, I asked her if she was Steve’s widow. And, she said she wasn’t, so I said I’d bet her a six-pack she was!"

Joke 5
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."

How They Make Money?

LITTLE JOHNNY AND PROPER GRAMMAR

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar,

the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those

who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.




First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with,

"My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."




"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher.

She then called on Little Tommy.




"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"




Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said,

"Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful !"

*******

WHY DID SHE DO THIS ???

Superstar Rajinikanths "ROBO"

An Imaginary Promo From RajiniFans

Facts about Rajanikanth

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,............ he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Driving Test

A professional juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

"What are you doing with these matches and lighter fluid in your car?" asks the police officer.

"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."

"Oh yeah? Let's see you do it," says the officer.

So the juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. "Wow," says the driver to his wife. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

R.I.P.

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."

Too Good to Be True

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.

He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:

"Fridge for sale $50."

The next day someone stole it.

Imagination at work : Wonderful Images

Hi Tech Pictures

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9pm and ask, " Did I wake you ????"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Dare to eat this ?

New words added to the english dictionary

Bucknor : (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see bucknor

Pontingity : [ pont in gətee ]

possession of firm principles: the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards !!! Usage: You cannot question my pontingity in the game.

Perspective

An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress.

The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered.

The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems.

The computer scientist says "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"

Turtle

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.

After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

India suspend Australia tour

India have suspended their tour of Australia while they appeal the suspension of spin bowler Harbhjan Singh for racial abuse.

Singh was banned for three Tests after he was alleged to have called Andrew Symonds - the only non-white player in the Australian team - a "monkey".

And the Indian cricket board (BCCI) have responded by halting the tour with two matches of the four Test series still to play, with a statement from the BCCI saying: "The board will appeal to the International Cricket Council to review the decision of the match referee and suspend its operation till the appeal is disposed of."

The India team will now stay in Sydney rather than travel to Canberra for a tour match on Thursday as they await the appeal against the decision by match referee Mike Procter, who was persuaded Harbhajan had used the word and that "he meant it to offend on the basis of Symonds' race or ethnic origin".

The BCCI move is the latest development in a contest which is threatening to rival the infamous 'Bodyline' series for the bitterness between hosts and tourists. India skipper Anil Kumble evoked memories of the 1932-33 Ashes series, when English bowlers used aggressive bowling tactics to nullify the threat of Australian hero Don Bradman.

After his side had lost the second Test following a series of disputed decisions, Kumble said: "Only one team was playing within the spirit of the game, that's all I can say."

The comment recalled the complaint by Bill Woodfull, Australia captain in the Bodyline series, who said: "There are two teams out there, one is playing cricket. The other is making no attempt to do so."

Kumble's team were beaten by 122 runs in Sydney after losing their last three wickets in the penultimate over.

Ponting was satisfied there was "no doubt about this match being played in the right spirit".

He added: "There's been one little issue that's come out of the game. Otherwise, the spirit between both teams in both Tests has been excellent."

Sydney test and after...Happenings revisited + New ICC rules + nice pic

Here is how umpires Steve Bucknor West Indies [ Images] and Mark Benson of England [ Images ] dealt deadly blows to India in the second cricket Test against Australia.

Day 1:

# Australian skipper Ricky Ponting [ Images] nicked a Sourav Ganguly [ Images ] delivery going the leg side to wicketkeeper Mahendra Singh Dhoni [ Images ] . Ponting, who was at 17, did not walk as Benson turned down the Indian sepal. The skipper went on to score 55 before being ironically given out leg before despite getting an inside edge.

# Then came the blunder which probably changed the course of the match. All rounder Andrew Symonds [ Images] edged Ishant Sharma to Dhoni but to the horror of the fielding side, Bucknor remained unmoved. Symonds was given another reprieve when the third umpire shockingly erred in giving him not out on a stumping appeal. The right hander went on to score an unbeaten 162 to take Australia to safety after being 134 for six.

Day 2:

# Another escape for Symonds as Bucknor turns down a close stumping appeal without consulting the third umpire.

Day 3:

# One of the rare umpiring blunders that went India's way as Sachin Tendulkar [ Images] survived a close leg before shout when on 38 before going on to score his 38th Test hundred.

Day 4:

# Benson turns down an Anil Kumble [ Images] appeal for a leg before against Michael Hussey despite the ball hitting the batsman's pads plumb in front. Hussey was on 22

# Benson is at it again, Hussey edged one from RP Singh to Dhoni but both the batsman and the umpire were unmoved. Hussey was on 45 at that time and went on to score an unbeaten 145.

# Having taken Hussey and Clarke in consecutive, Kumble seemed to have got his hat-trick after having Symonds trapped LBW but Bucknor says no. Symonds scored 61.

Day 5:

# Probably the most horrifying day for the Indians, Bucknor gives Rahul Dravid [ Images] caught behind of Symonds despite the ball missing the bat by miles.

# Sourav Ganguly is caught at slips by Michael Clarke [ Images] but the catch appeared to have come off the ground. However, instead of going to the third umpire, Benson checks with Ponting, who quite expectedly calls it clean.

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Quote from Cricinfo

"If Steve Bucknor walks the streets of Mumbai he would not be alive after an hour."
A comment on a TV debate in India in the aftermath of the Sydney Test. The remark received warm applause

He need not come to Mumbai, I am even ready to go to West Indies to accomplish this task. I am sure I 'll have company…?!!! ;)

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

New rules as per ICC...

(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE .

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE . This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA .

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Aussies rally behind Harbhajan

If you think it's only millions of distraught Indians who are backing the Turbinator, think again. Spinner Harbhajan Singh, in the eye of a storm for alleged racist remarks against Australian cricketer Andrew Symonds, has received support from unexpected quarters. What happened in Sydney on Saturday has upset every cricket lover in the world, even those in Australia. An online poll on the Sydney Morning Herald website leaves little doubt how people feel about the sordid affair. Only 14 per cent respondents think Harbhajan is guilty and deserved the three-match ban. An overwhelming 38 per cent of the 11,755 surfers who took part in the poll say 'Australia has long used sledging. They can dish it out, but can't take it'. If that's not an indictment of the national team, then what is?

Click on the link below to read the story

http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtvcricket/cricketstory.aspx?id=SPOEN20080037918

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Tour suspended......lagey raho....!!!!!

UPDATE 1-Cricket-India suspend Australia tour pending appeal

Mon Jan 7, 2008 6:57am GMT Email | Print | Share| Single Page | Recommend (0) [-] Text [+]

(adds details)

SYDNEY, Jan 7 (Reuters) - The Indian cricket board (BCCI) has suspended its team's tour of Australia pending the outcome of an appeal for banned spinner Harbhajan Singh.

Harbhajan was suspended on Sunday by the International Cricket Council for three tests after being found guilty of racially abusing Australian all-rounder Andrew Symonds during the second test in Sydney.

Harbhajan has denied the claims and the BCCI said the tour would be suspended until his appeal had been heard.

"The Board will appeal to the International Cricket Council to review the decision of the Match Referee and suspend its operation till the appeal is disposed of," the BCCI said in a statement released on Monday.

"The Indian Board realises the game of cricket is paramount but so too is the honour of the Indian team and for that matter every Indian.

"To vindicate its position, the Board will fight the blatantly false and unfair slur on an Indian player."

The Indian team were due to travel to Canberra on Monday to prepare for their next tour match but returned to their hotel rooms after boarding their bus.

Australia lead the four-match series 2-0. (Reporting by Julian Linden; Editing by John O'Brien)

New Virus Warning

This just in : NEW VIRUS WARNING

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles . It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.

It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.

Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

ENGINEERING FEATS

FROM THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS ENGINEERING FEATS


WORLD'S HIGHEST STATUE .BRAZIL
CHRIST THE REDEEMER STATUE ..RIO. D.J BRAZIL

WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM .BRAZIL
MARACANA STADIUM RIO D.J BRAZIL CAPACITY 199, 000


MOST COMPLEX INTER-CHANGE TEXAS

Interstate 10 Highways Interchange Houston, Texas .


WORLD'S BIGGEST INDOOR SWIMMING-POOL

World Water Park ..Edmonton, Albert, Canada ..SIZE .5 Acres



WORLD'S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL
South China Mall, Dongguan, China 892,000 meter-square

Shops on 6 floors


WORLD'S BUSIEST AIRPORT NEW YORK
J.F.K International Airport , New York ..USA



WORLD'S BIGGEST PASSENGER-SHIP




MS Freedom of the Seas 4300 passenger Capacity Inside

Marvelous Sand sculptures

Now, doors and windows made of human excreta

You could pass this off as a prank but making doors and windows out of human faeces is now possible. Mexico-based sculptors Santiago Sierra and Mariana David and India’s very own sanitation whiz Sulabh International have together evolved a technology of making strong, durable and waterproof doors and windows from human faeces.

Sierra and David had in early 2005 contacted Sulabh International’s founder- Bindeshwar Pathak to discuss their idea of making ‘environment-friendly doors’ from human excreta, which could be an alternative to the usual wooden or metal doors and windows.

“The Mexican sculptors had read about Sulabh’s work and contacted us in early 2005. I was extremely surprised when they told me about their idea of making furniture from human waste and I initially thought it was impossible as such a thing was unheard of. But they assured me it could work wonders and we went ahead with the experiment,” Pathak told DNA.

Sulabh International supplied the raw material (manure made from human faeces, collected from Sulabh lavatories) to the two sculptors who then mixed it with some chemicals and adhesives to come up with strong planks of human waste. These were then used to make the doors and windows. In a span of two years, Sierra and David have made 22 such doors.

These doors have now made there way to an exhibition at the Lisson Art Gallery of London, where they have caught the fancy of a huge audience. One of the doors has been kept at the Delhi-based Sulabh Museum of Toilets.

“Though Sierra’s intention behind the experiment was to use sculpture to create awareness about the ‘superior use of human waste’, I think the experiment will go a long way to protect the environment by saving millions of trees which are felled for timber requirements,” said Pathak. However, Pathak clarified that the experiment may not find many takers in India due to the society’s way of thinking here. But the experiment has provided a good enough reason to experiment further with human faeces.

Dr Pathak said that art lovers and designers are showing deep interests in these doors during the exhibition. They are planning to visit Sulabh to get the first-hand experience of the door-making process. He said that these doors would also be displayed in Munich Gallery in Germany.

Research is on to optimise the use of manure converted from human excreta. Researchers are trying to make different kinds of furniture, doors and other sculptures out of it.

The discovery is another feather in the cap of Sulabh International, a household name in the field of sanitation, not only in India but at global level.

The United Nations had recently recognised the efforts of Sulabh and contribution of its founder Dr Pathak for implementing “Total Sanitation campaign” through the indigenous two-pit toilet technology now commonaly popular as Sulabh Shauchalayas.

Dr Pathak had introduced two-pit toilet technique which became very popular throughout the world. The Sulabh technology is scientifically appropriate, economically affordable and culturally acceptable by several international organisations like the World Bank, WHO, UNICEF and UNDP.

For more than three decades Dr Bindeshwar Pathak, who founded the Sulabh International Social Service Organisation, has been promoting toilets that are cheap to build and don't require a sewer connection.

Toyota FT-HS

Built as Toyota's Detroit show star, the FT-HS is designed to showcase Toyota's leadership in hybrid powertrain technology. Underhood is a next-generation performance hybrid system built around Toyota's punchy 3.5-liter V-6 and capable of delivering approximately 400 horses. Performance targets include a 0-to-60-mph time in the 4.0-second range.

New Evidence

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge's chambers, demanding that the case to be reopened, the lawyer argued: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client's defense."

Judge: "What new evidence could you have?"

Lawyer: "My client has an extra $10,000 and I just found out about it!"

Bear Chase

Two guys are out in the woods hiking.

All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second guy says, "What are you doing?"

The first guy says, "I figure when the bear gets too close, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it."

The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear"!

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."

Thermal shift caused Arctic melt?

The dramatic loss of the Arctic ice cap may have been triggered by disruption to the thermal layers of atmosphere stacked over Earth's far north, according to Swedish research to be published on Thursday.

The study, published in Nature, offers a new explanation for the rise in the Arctic's surface temperature, which over the past century has been nearly 2° C, or twice the global average.

Until now, the big suspect in "Arctic amplification" has been reflectivity of sunlight.

When the Sun's rays hit snow or ice, most of that solar energy bounces back into space, but as those melting surfaces give way to dark-blue sea, the heat is absorbed instead.

This self-reinforcing process, called a feedback, is an established factor in accelerating warming in snow and ice.
But Stockholm University scientists led by Rune Graversen believe a possibly bigger cause for Arctic warming could be changes in heat transport in the middle of the troposphere, an atmospheric band that extends 10 kilometres above Earth's surface.

In polar regions, the layers of relative heat above the surface are usually stable. But Graversen says that over the last two decades or so there have been changes in Arctic atmospheric circulation which have brought in heat and moisture.

The moisture is particularly important, as it helps form persistent low cloud over the Arctic. Moisture-laden clouds at this altitude tend to absorb heat from the Sun, thus bringing a warming effect close to the surface.

In contrast, high-altitude clouds, which mainly comprise icy crystals, reflect heat back into space, and thus cool the surface. The circulatory shifts have an especially big impact in summer, says Graversen.

A second study, also in Nature, meanwhile, shows that the capacity of vegetation to absorb carbon dioxide appears to be ebbing, with potentially serious consequences for global warming.

Currently, about 50% of all the CO2 produced by burning fossil fuels is soaked up - "sequestered" - by land masses, mainly through forests, and by oceans.

Insects caused dinosaur extinction?

A new study by scientists has suggested that dinosaurs might have been wiped off the face off the Earth by biting, disease-carrying insects over a long period of time.

According to the study, the rise and evolution of insects, especially the slow-but-overwhelming threat posed by new disease carriers, could have been an important contributor to the demise of the dinosaurs.

The evidence for this emerging threat has been captured in almost lifelike-detail in the form of various insects preserved in amber that date to the time when dinosaurs disappeared.

As a semi-precious gem that first begins to form as sap oozing from a tree, amber has the unique ability to trap very small animals or other materials and – as a natural embalming agent – display them in nearly perfect, three-dimensional form millions of years later.

"We found in the gut of one biting insect, preserved in amber from that era, the pathogen that causes leishmania – a serious disease still today, one that can infect both reptiles and humans. In another biting insect, we discovered organisms that cause malaria, a type that infects birds and lizards today," said George Poinar Jr., a courtesy professor of zoology at Oregon State University.

"In dinosaur feces, we found nematodes, trematodes and even protozoa that could have caused dysentery and other abdominal disturbances. The infective stages of these intestinal parasites are carried by filth-visiting insects," he added.

These facts make the authors of the study argue that insects provide a plausible and effective explanation for the slow, inexorable decline and eventual extinction of dinosaurs over many thousands of years. This period is known as the famous "K-T Boundary," or the line between the Cretaceous and Tertiary Period about 65 million years ago.

In the Late Cretaceous period, the world was covered with warm-temperate to tropical areas that swarmed with blood-sucking insects carrying leishmania, malaria, intestinal parasites, arboviruses and other pathogens. These insects caused repeated epidemics that slowly-but-surely wore down dinosaur populations.

In fact, ticks, mites, lice and biting flies would have tormented the giant reptiles and weakened them considerably.

According to Poimar, back in the Cretaceous, these diseases were new and invasive, and vertebrates had little or no natural or acquired immunity to them. Massive outbreaks causing death and localized extinctions would have occurred, he said.

Also, insects could have spread plant diseases that destroyed large tracts of vegetation, and they could have been major competitors for the available plant food supply.

"We don’t suggest that the appearance of biting insects and the spread of disease are the only things that relate to dinosaur extinction," said Poinar. "Other geologic and catastrophic events certainly played a role. But by themselves, such events do not explain a process that in reality took a very, very long time, perhaps millions of years. Insects and diseases do provide that explanation," he added.

Asteroid to miss Mars, may hit Earth

An asteroid that has a one in 20 chance of striking Mars on January 30, might just fly past, which would probably make it target Earth at some point in future.

Designated 2007 WD5, the 160-foot wide asteroid was originally identified as a possible risk to Earth, though later analysis showed that it actually might be on a collision course with Mars.

According to a report in Discovery News, Donald Yeomans, a planetary scientist at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, has said that the odds are that the asteroid is going to fly right past Mars.

In the long run, that may not be good news for Earth, which could find itself in the asteroid's path at some point in the future. "Something of this size could take out a fairly large metropolitan area," said Yeomans.

But unlike the 1908 Tunguska event, when a large asteroid exploded over central Siberia with the force of a large nuclear bomb, now there would be advance warning of a possible strike, as well as the tools and knowledge to divert the threat.

Beautiful Butterflies

"Stock" beats "sex" on Google China

The names of three banks and the word "stocks" beat "sex" to become four of the most Googled words in China last year, according to a Google China list seen on Thursday.

China Merchants Bank, Industrial and Commercial Bank of China and China Construction Bank ranked second, third and sixth, according to a list supplied by Google China on its website (www.google.cn).

"On the Chinese mainland, it was money and technology that took the honors last year," the China Daily said, pointing out that "sex" was the most popular keyword for Google users in some other countries.

Fourth on the list was "stock", not surprising with Shanghai shares having risen 97 percent last year. At number 1 was "QQ", a Chinese instant message service and a brand of car.

China's Central Bank, the Ministry of Finance and Banking Regulatory Commission ranked first, third and fifth in the "Most Popular Departments" list, the Web site said.

In another list named "qiu zhi", or "seeking knowledge", "what is a blue chip" and "how to invest in the stock market" were the most searched questions on Google in China, while "what is love" and "how to kiss" ranked top of the global list.

China keeps a tight rein on Internet content and has launched several campaigns to root out online pornography, perhaps one reason why "sex" did not score so well.

$100 Prayer

A little boy wanted $100 so badly that he prayed for two weeks. But nothing happened; so he decided to write God a letter asking for the money.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "GOD, USA", they decided to send it to the President. He was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill.

The little boy was delighted with the $5, and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read; "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money.

"However, I noticed that for some reason you had it sent through Washington, DC, and as usual, those guys deducted $95."

Isn't It True?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Young Businessman

A young businessman had just started his own business. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.

Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I'm here to install the phone!"

Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM, Wake up."

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Eye Catching Clocks

Speeding

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!

The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"

The driver replied, "Was I officer, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't aware of that."

The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"

The man replied, "I don't have one officer."

"Of course you do," said the policeman.

"No sir, I don't," said the man.

"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.

"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.

"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.

"Yes I'm afraid so sir,"

Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me see the registration, so we can find out who it belongs to."

The man said, "There is nothing in the glove compartment except some candy, oh, and my gun."

"Your gun!" exclaimed the officer, clearly worried by this point, as this man was obviously a lunatic.

"So you don't have a drivers license, you stole this car, and there is a gun in the glove compartment!"

"Yes sir," said the man, "Oh and a body in the trunk."

"WHAT!!" said the policeman turning white, "Ok so you have no drivers license, you have stolen this car, there is a gun in the glove compartment, and a body in the trunk?"

"Yes," said the man, sounding slightly irritated.

"Look," said the policeman, "You wait right here and don't touch anything! Don't move, don't even breathe."

So the policeman ran to his car and radioed the station, "I want to speak to the chief," said the policeman, "And quick!"

He waited about a minute and the chief came on the line, "What is it," he said.

"I've got a man here, he is a complete lunatic he has very calmly stated that he is driving a stolen car, he has no drivers license, there is a gun in the glove compartment, and a body in the trunk," said the policeman.

"I'll be right there," said the chief.

In ten minutes the man and the car were surrounded. There was the chief of police, a swat team, everybody you could imagine.

The chief walks slowly to the car in his bulletproof vest and says to the driver, "Hello sir, may I see your drivers license?"

"Of course," said the man, and produced it from his back pocket.

Looking puzzled, the chief asked, "Is this your car?"

"Yes," said the man.

"Can I see your registration please sir?" asked the chief.

The man leaned over to open the glove compartment.

"Please don't open it sir!" said the chief.

"Why?" asked the man, "I thought you wanted my registration."

"I do," said the chief, "But there is a gun in there."

"Don't be silly," said the man, and he opened the glove compartment, empty apart from some candy.

"Let me get this right," said the chief, "You have a drivers license, this is your car and there is no gun in the glove compartment."

"Yes," said the man,

"And there is no body in the trunk, I suppose," said the chief.

"BODY!" exclaimed the man, "Why on earth would I have a body in my trunk?"

"Sir I apologize for this, but my officer told me that you had no drivers license, you had stolen this car, you were in possession of a gun, and a body in the trunk."

"The lying fool," said the man, "I'll bet he said I was speeding, too!"